Rules for My Unborn Son
RULES FOR MY UNBORN SON is a collection of traditional, humorous, and urbane fatherly advice for boys. From the sartorial (”If you are tempted to wear a cowboy hat, resist”) to the practical (”Keep a copy of your letters. It makes it easier for your biographer”) to even a couple of sure-fire hangover cures (”There is no better remedy than a dip in the ocean”), the book of rules and accompanying quotations is quite simply an instruction manual for becoming a Good Man – industrious, thoughtful, charming, and of course, well-dressed. Be sure to check out the Blog that started it all.
Hip and witty with a decidedly traditionalist flavor, RULES FOR MY UNBORN SON is meant to evoke simpler times when Father knew best and a suitable answer to “Why?” was “Because I said so.”
Some examples:
87. When using a saw, patience not strength is needed to make the smoothest cut.
94. Don’t show off. Impress.
90. Push-ups and sit-ups are all you’ll ever need to build muscle.
100. Have a reliable hangout.
115. Short pants are for little boys. Decide for yourself when you are a man.
119. Don’t be shy in the locker room. They are all thinking the same thing.
121. Men should not wear sandals. Ever.
122. The key to good photography is not timing. It’s editing.
125. A t-shirt is neither a philosophy nor an advertisement. It’s a shirt. Wear it plain.
135. Avoid affectations, lest they become habits.
141. Hustle.
144. Offer your name when greeting someone. Even good friends have lousy memories.
145. Participate in a good practical joke.
146. Don’t burn bridges.
150. Don’t get all fancy about your beer or coffee.
165. On a night out with the boys, never be the first to go home.
178. Believe it or not, a museum is a great place to beat a hangover.
185. Be careful not to ogle girls at the beach. That’s what sunglasses are for.
187. Smile at pretty girls.
189. Learn to drive a stick shift.
191. Don’t have a girlfriend in college.
222. Don’t boast about projects in progress. Celebrate their completion.
233. Go down fighting.
257. If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done.
301. Dress for the job you want, not for the one you have.
335. If you’re good at something, never do it for free.
377. Cellphones have amplifiers. There’s no need to raise your voice.
381. Walk it off.
384. All drinking challenges must be accepted.
389. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then
delete it.
395. Be mindful of what comes between you and the earth. Buy good tires, good sheets, and good shoes.
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